France Being French
by xxXSporkSistaXxx
Summary: France takes up a new excercise regiment, and chaos insues.


CRASH!

England swore a little too loudly as his very very very hot tea cascaded down his pant leg.

"What the bloody hell was that!?!"

He yelled, jumping up and running to the nearest window. The sound had definitely come from outside, and the first thought that came of England's mind was that someone (cough America cough) was attempting to bomb him. Peering out the window, he didn't see anyone, but seconds later-

BOOM!

England ducked and covered his head. What in the world could be making that sound? He grabbed his loaded hand pistol off the shelf and headed to the door.

~meanwhile~

CRASH!

Spain had been picking the tomatoes from his tomato vines in the backyard, when the loud noise made him jump high in the air.

"AIYEE!"

He cried, startled out of his wits. From across the street, he could hear England's curses.

He took a few deep breaths to calm down, and looked sadly down at his now squished tomatoes.

BOOM!

This time, Spain was upset, and wanted to know what in the world was going on. The sound was coming from his north-west. Picking up his little gardening shovel, Spain quietly sneaked his way to the white picket fence and peered over.

Nobody was to be seen, but he could see England inching his way down the street with a gun.

"Hola, England! What was that noise?"

England turned to face the Spaniard-

"Dunno, but I'm going to check at France's house- he's always doing stupid stuff like that!"

Spain nodded, and joined England for the hunt of the mysterious noises.

~at France's doorway~

England with his gun and Spain with his little gardening shovel crept up to France's front door. Pressing their faces to the door window, they tried to see what was going on inside.

"We'll have to go in."

England declared as they couldn't make out anything.

"Shhhh..."

Spain whispered, putting his finger to his lips.

"I heard something..."

Both countries went silent as they strained to hear barely audible groaning.

They looked at each other, not quite sure what they would find on the inside.

"Okay, I'll kick down the door, and you'll jump in and attack on the count of three.

One…two…THREE!"

England yelled the last number as he kicked the door open.

Spain gave out a battle-cry, and with his little gardening shovel raised above his head, he dashed inside.

Instantly though, both the country's stopped dead in their tracts.

France was rolling on the floor, holding his leg, and now looking up in surprise at the sight of Spain with a little shovel and England with a pistol pointed at him.

"Bonjour…"

France greeted, now slightly embarrassed at his predicament. He sat up straight now, and began fixing his hair.

England and Spain looked around his house in shock.

France's normally decent looking apartment was very sporadic looking.

Several couches were placed like track hurtles, all making a circle around the living room.

"What in God's holy name is all of this…?"

England proclaimed, now looking down at the Frenchman, who was still holding his leg.

"Ah, yes, did you hear any of that?"

France looked sheepish as he looked at his neighbors. It was embarrassing enough to have to do an exercise regiment as silly as this, but to have his rivals enter upon him while he was doing it was even worse.

"Si senor, we did hear a lot of crashing and booming."

Spain looked down, waiting for the explanation.

"Well, you see. My king has been doing an exercise program, and he wants me to do it with him so he doesn't feel too embarrassed."

"What kind of exercise are you doing?"

England inquired now, eyebrows rising.

"…jumping over couches…"

Replied France, now blushing and seeping with embarrassment.

It was in all of England's power to control himself from laughing. Spain was looking at France like he was a complete dummy.

"Well then…we'll be going then...have fun…JUMPING OVER COUCHES!"

England had kept his cracking up to a minimum, but he couldn't help but burst out in laughter as he repeated the Frenchman.

Spain grinned too, and the two left France's house laughing, one with his gun, and other with his shovel.

France sat on the floor, still embarrassed, and having learned a very hard lesson-

Jumping over couches is a stupid exercise, and especially dangerous if you are French.


End file.
